For those of us who have children, a partner, a career and a home, we know the art of juggling. Once you become a mother, your wants/needs take a backseat to everything else. You knew this going in but did you really think about the effect on your marriage? Some days I'm lucky if I shower before noon and get to finish my hot cup of coffee. My kids, however, are bathed, dressed, fed and happily traveling through life without a care in the world. Am I happy that they are happy? Absolutely. Do I wish I was showered and dressed? Absolutely.
Some days you are barely surviving when your partner walks through the door. The kids have been waiting all day for this moment (you have too!) to run up and jump into their arms and tell them all about their day. This is the norm now. If you're lucky, you can squeeze in a quick kiss before starting dinner.
Remember the days when you and your partner could go out to dinner after work, have a few drinks and relax? No really, it used to happen. You could come home and not have to worry about waking anybody up or paying a babysitter. You had time and plenty of it to just be together laughing, connecting and enjoying each other. It's not that this can't happen after you have kids, you just need to make time for it. Mark it on the calendar - DATE NIGHT 7PM. It's something to look forward to; alone time. A quiet meal where you don't have to cut up anybody's food, take anyone to the bathroom and you actually get to eat a hot meal! Remembering who you were as a couple before adding to your family is important in order to nourish your relationship.
One day, your kids will leave the house and go out on their own (I can't fathom this right now!) and you and your partner will be alone again. You want to know that you are still on the same page and are excited to move forward to this new chapter of your lives. Knowing that you are still you because together you made a point to make time for each other in the controlled chaos that is parenthood.
So for now, soak in the noise, the mess and the memories because one day it will all change. In the meantime, pick a day and mark it on the calendar and enjoy your date night.